


Absolutely Not.

by sapphire2309



Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-24 16:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6159559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diana's son is <i>not</i> going to be a con man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolutely Not.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Day 4 of halfamoon, for the prompt Fight, the battle between Diana and Mozzie. [Prompted](http://sapphire2309.livejournal.com/46000.html?thread=404400#t404400) by leesa_perrie, thank you! It's not that great :/ Ah well. It's fic. I wrote. That's good.  
> Seeing as it's day 6 now, I'm behind. Oh dear.  
>  **Disclaimer:** White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.

"My son is _not_ going to be a con man."

"But what if he wants to?"

Diana blinked rapidly to cover her weariness and summoned up a smile with some difficulty. "And how exactly would he reach that conclusion?"

"There are a number of ways in which a young, enterprising Teddy-"

"Theo."

" _Theo_ , might discover the alluring realm of white collar crime."

"And how many of those require your presence?"

"...A considerable number, I'll admit, but it's entirely possible that the deciding factor may come from someone or something other than me."

"Do you want me to revoke your visitation rights?"

"That's the last thing I want," Mozzie said absently. His face grew increasingly concerned.

"Mozzie?"

"Don't tell me that you've signed him up for the government's brainwashing program _already?_ "

" _What?_ "

"Yes! All the children born to parents in law enforcement or the military are influenced using a combination of family legacy and brainwashing to follow in their parent's footsteps. There are statistics!"

"I said I didn't want him to be a _criminal_ , how did you suddenly gather that I wanted to force Theo into being a lawman?"

"If that's not the case, how are you so sure?"

"I- fine, why don't we ask him?"

Two full-grown adults in the middle of an utterly irrational fight abruptly turned to a burbling baby.

"...Theo?" Mozzie tried.

Theo blew a spit bubble. There was complete silence till it popped.

Diana sighed. "This is going to have to wait, isn't it?"

"So we have time? That's incredibly fortuitous. I now have time to lay plans."

"Moz-zie!"

"You did indirectly accept my declaration of war, you know."

Diana looked at Mozzie, outraged. "Theo is a _child_."

"Are you saying I'll have to be more subtle than buying him a lock pick set for his fifth birthday?"

"I'm saying, no influencing my son and his future career choice. That applies to both of us."

"That's an... unexpectedly noble peace offering."

"That you accept."

" _I_ will take my time, consider it for a bit."

"Time's up."

"I accept." Moz blinked in shock at the speed with which he gave in. "Can I take that back?"

"Absolutely not."


End file.
